When it comes to autism, I don’t like to think of it as a positive or negative, it’s just a difference. Whilst autism certainly doesn’t define a person, it is completely pervasive and does colour how they experience the world as well as how the world experiences them.
Sometimes these differences lead to amazing accomplishments or beautiful moments that the NT world don’t get to experience, but other days these differences tend to turn things to shit, also in a way the NT world don’t get to experience.
This is where Touristo and I are this week. Touristo’s nervous system is being unkind to him at the moment, and he is struggling to stay still for longer than a minute, which culminated in him escaping from my sister’s house yesterday in a rather grand fashion. I am petrified of him going to school next year.
I on the other hand, have an uncooperative brain at the moment. It will not stop, not for a minute and the anxiety associated with this is stifling. I have a very big work event, combined with some advocacy work as well as finding out where the Department of Education has decided to send Touristo next year (in their infinite wisdom no doubt). All of this stuff are things I have no control over. It is terrifying to someone like me.
As a result, the usually harmonious bond that Touristo and I share is impacted. Neither of our faults, we are both struggling. But you know what? The world works in seasons, and as sure as the world turns, they pass. So for now we are both just holding on tight as we work through it.
Things always get better.